Back in 2008 I took my first missions trip; to China. Yeah, that was a big one. When I do something, I tend to go all out 
I had never felt called to missions in any way. Don’t get me wrong, I was willing to pray and financially support, but I never felt like I should actually GO anywhere. My husband had taken our youth group to Miami, but I was never able to go as our son was too young to go, so I stayed home with him. I wasn’t ever disappointed about that. Again, I just never felt called to go anywhere. That changed when I felt God calling me to something deeper. I don’t remember exactly what happened, I just know that I prayed the prayer “whatever you want me to do, I’ll do and wherever you want me to go, I’ll go.” Be careful with that. The next thing I knew we were being approached by a youth pastor friend of ours and planning a trip to China. It was a tedious time raising all of the money needed, getting the required shots, planning for our children while we were gone for 2 weeks and then the 21+ hour flight there! We had family members who were not supportive of foreign missions. We even had fellow Christians who were not supportive. It did not distract us. We knew we were called to go; it was that clear! During our planning time, a friend gave me the book “Dangerous Surrender” by Kay Warren as a gift. WOW! This book should come with a warning! As I read it, I felt my heart began to tear apart. My eyes began to open to tragedies around the world and how we, as Christians, should be ready to stand up and fight when we have a holy anger. I had no idea what God was doing, but I knew He was up to something good! Well, my trip to China was beyond my imagination. It was so awesome to be able to see sights such as the Great Wall, etc. but nothing prepared me for the way I would feel when I got to meet the people. Nothing prepared me for the hurt my heart would feel when I saw people living in communism and poverty. I met people that I could not converse with, but the bond was there still the same (some of my favorites ladies are in picture below with me). My heart melted. I cried for days after getting home. I attributed it partially to jet lag (which was really bad) but the truth was, God broke my heart like I had asked Him to. Yeah, I asked Him to open my eyes to see things as He sees and I asked Him to break my heart like His breaks; for the things that His breaks for. I was not prepared for the work that began on that trip in October of 2008.
I had not went on another missions trip until this month when we took our youth group to Atlanta. It wasn’t due to lack of want to or lack of opportunity. It just didn’t happen. I figure God knows best and will send me where He needs me when He needs me. I was excited, but not the way I had been to go to China. I don’t know why really. DID GOD BLOW ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I just thought my heart had broken in China. I just thought God had messed me up over there! I have still not stopped crying. And you know what? That’s ok. To stop crying means my memories are fading. I never want that to happen. I never want to forget serving dinner to homeless men, women, and yes, even children and then watching them walk away to go to bed underneath their bridges. I never want to forget seeing the terror in the eyes of some of them because of their circumstances. I never want to forget hugging and loving on someone who hasn’t bathed in who knows how long and how happy it made me to do it. I never want to forget little Isaiah and his brother (picture below) who were so happy to play with a plastic spoon and be the center of attention. I never want to forget praying with an old homeless fella for his sister to be at peace even though she has AIDS and for him to be at peace as well. I never want to forget what I felt when I looked around the sanctuary at Rescue Atlanta the night of revival and realize 
I was worshipping with society’s outcasts and having a ball doing it! I never want to forget what it feels like to give someone a hug who hasn’t been touched in God only knows how long. I never want to forget what it feels like to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus; doing what it is He wants us to do…being a TRUE Christian.
I never wanna stop crying. And I pray once again with you my reader as my witness, the following prayer:
“God, here I am….I will do what you want me to do and I will go where you need me to go.”
